Lush City wrote: ↑Sat Sep 29, 2018 12:26 am
You asked for it. You kept this stinking thread alive. Now you get some more right between those drunken blood shot eyes. The best of Hebrew humor, please enjoy these lame ass jokes... OY!
Start Hebrew joke list...
"Some old and some new, and all have an underlying point.
Community:
1. How many Jews does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Four: One to convince others to do it, a second to donate the bulb, a third to screw it in, and a fourth to make a speech saying the entire Jewish people stands behind the new bulb.
2. Two men, a Jew and a Gentile, were marooned on a desert island. The Gentile immediately got to work, dragging rocks to spell out “SOS” in huge letters on the beach, gathering driftwood to build a bonfire, and thinking about ways to build a boat.
The Jew, however, merely sat on the beach and waited.
“What’s the matter with you?” the Gentile exclaimed. “Don’t you want to be rescued?”
The Jew said calmly, “Look, I live in a city with a big Jewish Federation. Last year, I donated a million dollars to them. The year before, I donated a million dollars to them. This year, wherever I am, they’ll find me!”
3. Two men are waiting for a train. The younger man asks the older man for the time, but the older man ignores him. After a while, the younger man again asks for the time and again the older man ignores him. Frustrated, the younger man finally asks, “Why won’t you answer me when I ask you for the time?”
The older man sighs and explains: “Look, if I tell you the time, we’ll start to talk. Then when the train comes, you might sit down next to me. Perhaps we’ll get to know each other, and maybe I’ll eventually invite you to my house for Shabbat dinner. Maybe then you and my daughter would really get along – why, you might even get engaged! And why would I want a son-in-law who can’t even afford a watch?”