Never did I realize that Ron Perlman was in Police Academy VI: Mission To Moscow. Wow. Blew my mind. Like, again. Wow. Like the black guy that makes all those noise imitations. Wow. And that one Claire chick with the blue eyes and trimmed, Slavic eyebrows.
Totally. Wow.
Little Known Facts You Don't Want To Know
Moderators: Artful Drunktective, mistah willies, NYDingbat, Judge, oettinger, Oggar, Badfellow, Mr Boozificator
- Badfellow
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Little Known Facts You Don't Want To Know
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- Frankennietzsche
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Re: Little Known Facts You Don't Want To Know
I didn't know that they made a 3, let alone a 4.
“Süßen witwe Mutter-Hosen — kommst du hier mit mein knackenpfeife schnell, oder Ich zeige Ihnen mein Zuhälter Hand!”
"I am going to pistol-whip the next person who says 'shenanigans' "
"Rectum? It nearly killed him!"
"I am going to pistol-whip the next person who says 'shenanigans' "
"Rectum? It nearly killed him!"
- Badfellow
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Re: Little Known Facts You Don't Want To Know
David (Eugene Tackleberry) Graf died of a CIA induced heart attack in 2001 shortly after the scrapped filming of Police Academy 8: Direct To DVD. His wife ate the body.
Steve Guttenberg did not attend the memorial service, because he's an asshole.
Steve Guttenberg did not attend the memorial service, because he's an asshole.
ພາສາລາວNONE GENUINE WITHOUT MY SIGNATUREພາສາລາວ
- Dear Booze
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Re: Little Known Facts You Don't Want To Know
I met Steve Guttenberg a couple of years ago. He was scraping bird shit off of the outdoor dining tables at the Tasty Freeze in El Sugundo, CA. I said "Hey, aren't you Steve Guttenberg?" And he smiled proudly and said "Yes. Yes I am." And I said "Well cool. It's great to know your name. Now, get over here and clean this table right. You missed a spot."
Just then his manager, a skinny 16-year-old kid named Austin, came out and asked "How's everything folks?"
"How hard it it to keep these fucking tables clean," I demanded. "Do you think it's okay for my wife to sit in bird shit? Steve seems to think so."
So the manager took care of it and I heard him tell Steve something about "if you have time to lean, you have time to clean" (of couse, I'm paraphrasing here).
And then Steve said "Well, I need better direction from you... what's my motivation?"
And Austin said "You really need to consider the customer... you just don't seem to care about them. I don't think you have it in you."
And Steve said "I was one of the biggest stars in the world. Remember Police Academy? Remember Three Men and a baby? ... it was a huge success!"
"Yes. It was," Austin agreed, "but it had Ted Danson and Tom Selleck. People love them. And Leonard, Mr Spock, Nemoy was the director. People love him.. his is beloved. Oh and a cute little girl. People like cute little kids. She was great. But you? People hate you. You suck. And during the initial screenings, they wanted to cut you out of the film because the whole thing between you and the little girl seemed dirty and creepy... they almost changed the name to Two Men, a Baby, and a Pedophile."
"Wait," demanded Steve, "a pedophile is someone who has a thing for feet, right?"
"No Steve. It's not. Anyhow, people hate you. And so do I. You are stupid, creepy looking and and are a shitty actor. Now finish with the tables, and then go clean the toilets. Someone had diarrhea on the wall in the ladies room..."
And that is how I met Steve Guttenberg, legendary American actor. Good to see him working again.
Just then his manager, a skinny 16-year-old kid named Austin, came out and asked "How's everything folks?"
"How hard it it to keep these fucking tables clean," I demanded. "Do you think it's okay for my wife to sit in bird shit? Steve seems to think so."
So the manager took care of it and I heard him tell Steve something about "if you have time to lean, you have time to clean" (of couse, I'm paraphrasing here).
And then Steve said "Well, I need better direction from you... what's my motivation?"
And Austin said "You really need to consider the customer... you just don't seem to care about them. I don't think you have it in you."
And Steve said "I was one of the biggest stars in the world. Remember Police Academy? Remember Three Men and a baby? ... it was a huge success!"
"Yes. It was," Austin agreed, "but it had Ted Danson and Tom Selleck. People love them. And Leonard, Mr Spock, Nemoy was the director. People love him.. his is beloved. Oh and a cute little girl. People like cute little kids. She was great. But you? People hate you. You suck. And during the initial screenings, they wanted to cut you out of the film because the whole thing between you and the little girl seemed dirty and creepy... they almost changed the name to Two Men, a Baby, and a Pedophile."
"Wait," demanded Steve, "a pedophile is someone who has a thing for feet, right?"
"No Steve. It's not. Anyhow, people hate you. And so do I. You are stupid, creepy looking and and are a shitty actor. Now finish with the tables, and then go clean the toilets. Someone had diarrhea on the wall in the ladies room..."
And that is how I met Steve Guttenberg, legendary American actor. Good to see him working again.
DRINK!
- waahoohah
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Re: Little Known Facts You Don't Want To Know
Things that happen make other things happen. All the time. Everywhere.
AND THERE IS NOTHING YOU OR I CAN DO TO STOP IT.
AND THERE IS NOTHING YOU OR I CAN DO TO STOP IT.
"Beginner's luck is only possible if you try."
-Lee Harvey Oswald
-Lee Harvey Oswald
- Badfellow
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Re: Little Known Facts You Don't Want To Know
Dude, you do not even wanna know.
AND DON'T EVEN THINK ABOUT CLICKING ON THIS LINK, IT'LL BLOW YOUR MIND.
AND DON'T EVEN THINK ABOUT CLICKING ON THIS LINK, IT'LL BLOW YOUR MIND.
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- ThirstyDrunk
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Re: Little Known Facts You Don't Want To Know
The average human stomach contains over 7 pounds of lint.
Like a desperate thirst in a raging drought
- mistah willies
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Re: Little Known Facts You Don't Want To Know
Armpits sometimes contain green putty.
- Badfellow
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Re: Little Known Facts You Don't Want To Know
Write an ode.
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- Badfellow
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Re: Little Known Facts You Don't Want To Know
In thinking about retirement, I often turn to Scott Clam for advice.
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Re: Little Known Facts You Don't Want To Know
Run! His fat head is going to explodeBadfellow wrote: ↑Thu Jul 27, 2017 10:46 pmIn thinking about retirement, I often turn to Scott Clam for advice.
Drink!
Re: Little Known Facts You Don't Want To Know
Wikipedia wrote: Cymothoa exigua, or the tongue-eating louse, is a parasitic isopod of the family Cymothoidae. This parasite enters fish through the gills, and then attaches itself to the fish's tongue [...] The parasite severs the blood vessels in the fish's tongue, causing the tongue to fall off. It then attaches itself to the stub of what was once its tongue and becomes the fish's new tongue.
Don't worry. We're in no hurry.
- mistah willies
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Re: Little Known Facts You Don't Want To Know
That's like,ThirstyDrunk wrote: ↑Fri Jul 21, 2017 10:44 pmThe average human stomach contains over 7 pounds of lint.
in addition to a pound of spiders
ya know, when you sleep with your mouth open
(1 cup: cockroach eqv in the south)
plus the lb of dirt
plus all the undigested red meat
Man that's a lotta baggage.
That's why I recommend a diet of booze.
Booze. No cockroach baggage! ®