You live a busy life. So what's the best new app for keeping track of the very latest, up-to-date information on your bowel movements? iPOOP is here!
Now you can get real time data on your latest stink session including moisture content, methane coefficient and more!
Not only that, iPOOP keeps track of your vital BM info for easy reference at home or work. Up to two years worth! And you can share it on all your smart devices. Plus, it's proprietary probability algorithms also provide you a personalized 7 day forecast on how likely you are to shit yourself. Try doing that on Facebook!
Be the master of your own defecatory destiny! Download iPOOP today, the #1 rated fecal app!
Discover iPOOP, the best new app for smartphone
Moderators: Artful Drunktective, mistah willies, NYDingbat, Judge, oettinger, Oggar, Badfellow, Mr Boozificator
- Badfellow
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Discover iPOOP, the best new app for smartphone
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- ThirstyDrunk
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Re: Discover iPOOP, the best new app for smartphone
Like a desperate thirst in a raging drought
- scream ale
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Re: Discover iPOOP, the best new app for smartphone
I track my movements the old fashioned way - with pencil and paper and polaroids.
No digital turd tracker for me. No thank you.
No digital turd tracker for me. No thank you.
Re: Discover iPOOP, the best new app for smartphone
I need an iCANTPOOP app, since I'm constipated.
Last edited by Nausea on Sun Mar 24, 2019 3:42 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Don't worry. We're in no hurry.
- Badfellow
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Re: Discover iPOOP, the best new app for smartphone
iPOOP! has added an exclamation mark to it's name and has been updated to include Mexican food, gas station schnitzel and cheap domestic beer. Also includes the new EnemaPro v. 2.0 lower colonic manager.
ພາສາລາວNONE GENUINE WITHOUT MY SIGNATUREພາສາລາວ
- scream ale
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Re: Discover iPOOP, the best new app for smartphone
Gas station schnitzel and cheap domestic beer? I may have been wrong about this device.
Re: Discover iPOOP, the best new app for smartphone
Copious amounts of beer will help this. Bonus if it's cheap swill.
Now you're ready for some anti-dry-otics!-BeerMakesMeSmarter
If worms had daggers, birds wouldn't fuck with them-Todd Snider
Blackout and be extraordinary-Absinthe of Malice
If worms had daggers, birds wouldn't fuck with them-Todd Snider
Blackout and be extraordinary-Absinthe of Malice
- mistah willies
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Re: Discover iPOOP, the best new app for smartphone
Some of the more memorable ones, I've bronzed and mounted on plaques in the restroomscream ale wrote: ↑Sun Mar 24, 2019 12:51 pmI track my movements the old fashioned way - with pencil and paper and polaroids.
No digital turd tracker for me. No thank you.
to give inspiration for the work ahead.
It's corny, I know.
- Badfellow
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Re: Discover iPOOP, the best new app for smartphone
Do mean the sentiment? Or your poop? Or perhaps both?
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- mistah willies
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Re: Discover iPOOP, the best new app for smartphone
Mostly it's been the sense of not being completely evacuated. Ya know? Like, how many times does it take to wipe between being clean, or then the blood on the TP?
I think that the ¡POOP! may help?
I dunno. Just looking for answers. If this new poop app really can detail the structure and content of my expressions, then I'll give high protein props on Facebook © for all my Likes there.
Is there a Facebook © probe, or ¡Probe! for pre-pooping?
¡Dunno. Hello a bro out, dude!
Re: Discover iPOOP, the best new app for smartphone
mistah willies wrote: ↑Tue Mar 26, 2019 7:10 pmMostly it's been the sense of not being completely evacuated. Ya know? Like, how many times does it take to wipe between being clean, or then the blood on the TP?
I
Somedays it's like there's a marker down there. Always a tiny streak.
Now you're ready for some anti-dry-otics!-BeerMakesMeSmarter
If worms had daggers, birds wouldn't fuck with them-Todd Snider
Blackout and be extraordinary-Absinthe of Malice
If worms had daggers, birds wouldn't fuck with them-Todd Snider
Blackout and be extraordinary-Absinthe of Malice
- mistah willies
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- Badfellow
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Re: Discover iPOOP, the best new app for smartphone
In technical jargon, we call those "racing stripes". Used to call them "taco stains", but the proctologist guild says that's racist.mistah willies wrote: ↑Thu Mar 28, 2019 7:12 am
Not to mention the bed sheets, the settee, the neighbor's cat, the shower curtain and the riding lawn mower seat. But I hear this is normal.
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- mistah willies
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Re: Discover iPOOP, the best new app for smartphone
Bear and Rabbit are taking a poop in the woods. Bear calls out to Rabbit, "Hey Rabbit! You ever get shit stuck in your fur?"Badfellow wrote: ↑Thu Mar 28, 2019 7:32 amIn technical jargon, we call those "racing stripes". Used to call them "taco stains", but the proctologist guild says that's racist.mistah willies wrote: ↑Thu Mar 28, 2019 7:12 am
Not to mention the bed sheets, the settee, the neighbor's cat, the shower curtain and the riding lawn mower seat. But I hear this is normal.
Rabbit says, "No. That's sad." So Bear grabs Rabbit and wipes his ass with him.
What I'm saying is, that which don't kill you weakens you greatly. You almost died.