Your day in a nutshell. Share please.

[Artful Drunktective]

^^^ Did you ever consider pissing in the sink? It`s so much more easy to hit

Maybe for tall people. And men. Wouldn't the shower/tub be easier? Just sayin'.

[Badfellow]

I.P. Freely.

[Badfellow]

Working out in the countryside today, I was offered the most delightful lunch I’ve had in quite a while by the missus of the house: leftover fried chicken and a can of cold Coors. Damn if that chicken wasn’t still crispy. Damn if that beer didn’t quench.

[Savage]

The worst thing is, Grumpy's oral cancer is so much worse than my cervical. He is so worn ourt and he cannot swallow. He has to take nutrition through a feeding tube. It hurts so much to see him so ill.

[Thompson]

It’s hard to read that Savage, it’s very painful. Does Grumpy have pain meds? Does he have a bottle on the bedside table, or hidden under the house in case of emergency? They have hemp gummies, legal, that help with pain. They don’t get you high but they really help with pain. Available over the net or at the head shop.

[Thompson]

Man, I had the weirdest fucking dream. All the posters were live and in person, talking live through this sky thing. It was wild. I could hear voices and see faces, I could even see mine, with brown teeth and all. It was disgusting. I’m going to brush my teeth today with Crest whitening paste.

[oettinger]

Man, I had the weirdest fucking dream. All the posters were live and in person, talking live through this sky thing. It was wild. I could hear voices and see faces, I could even see mine, with brown teeth and all. It was disgusting. I’m going to brush my teeth today with Crest whitening paste.

No dream Sir, saw you too

[Thompson]

Well I didn’t brush my teeth with Crest whitening jell because I don’t have any. I brushed them vigorously instead with baking soda and my gums bled a bit. I ventured a look in the mirror and the teeth were as brown today as they were yesterday. Except for some blood from the gums. I’m not of afraid of teeth, and I’m not afraid of the police. There are three missing, teeth, two of them I have saved to show friends and relatives when they come over for a beer. The police paid a visit. They have visited before. “Look Thompson,” the alpha cop said, “No disrespect to your artistic intention, but you cannot be howling that primal scream of yours in the middle of the night. There are school children living on this block, they have to go to school in the morning.”

“Right,” I quickly saw my way out, “Officer, have you read any David Goodis novels? You might have him confused with Cornell Woolrich because they look so much alike. Anyway, Goodis likes to say things without sound, an internal dialogue without sound, and that is what I am striving for officer, a primal scream without sound.”

They both left giving me the fish eye, or stink eye, both waving a warning finger in the air.

[Thompson]

And there aren’t really school children living on this block, they are little hookers and coke fiends. They stay up all night anyway and certainly are not bothered by a primal scream or two.

[oettinger]

I think screaming primary schoolers on my hungover mornings deserve way more noise prohibition than any loud fart a drunk does at bedtime

[Thompson]

A loud fart. Yes, you can feel it gurgling down and then it comes out as a fart. My fear, and it is a big one, is that the gurgling down won’t result in a fart. Trapped Gas will be your middle name. Rolling around in pain will be your game. Pleased to meet you. Then you will bloat up and die. All that gas will build up and kill your ass. I’ve seen it happen. To a pal of mine. He died of trapped gas.

[Thompson]

So you have to pay attention to your gas. You do not want to die of trapped gas, believe me. When that gurgle comes around embrace it, let it roll down there build up some more and let it finally escape. Never try to hold it in. A shot of Bakersfield always helps.

Man, it is fucking hard to navigate through life. It is almost impossible.

[Thompson]

You gotta have luck, there’s no two ways about that. You can’t go blundering down some blind alley without a bit of luck in your hip pocket or a phone number to call when you need to make bail. You have to be alert as well, can’t let your guard down, and do not trust anybody. Be especially vigilant with your shoes — if you pass out on a public street they are most likely going to be missing when you wake up, if you are not vigilant.

[Thompson]

That happened to me, I passed out on Canal Street next to the Ignatius Reilly statue. Woke up and my shoes were gone. But you don’t go pissing and moaning about it, you don’t go to the police station and make a report. No, you walk the fuck home in your socks is what you do.

[Thompson]

If you get 86’d in a barroom in New Orleans it’s only for that night. I didn’t know that. I thought it was a lifetime ban, but no, you can come back the next night and get 86’d again.