The Earth actually bears countless scars of the number of times when Greygoose hit her with various parts of his body. Sometimes the same fall caused mother Earth three or four scars all together.greygoose wrote:christ where do i start.
Drunkard Injuries
Moderators: Artful Drunktective, mistah willies, NYDingbat, Judge, oettinger, Oggar, Badfellow, Mr Boozificator
- Mr Boozificator
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Re: Drinking scars
"I never want to go to bed if there are still beers in the fridge, but then I am always hopeful that there are beers left in there when I wake up.". Thirstydrunk.
"We all look for happiness, but without knowing where to find it: like drunkards who look for their house, knowing dimly that they have one." Voltaire
"The prince of darkness is a gentleman." Shakespeare.
"We all look for happiness, but without knowing where to find it: like drunkards who look for their house, knowing dimly that they have one." Voltaire
"The prince of darkness is a gentleman." Shakespeare.
Re: Drinking scars
It's not a scar, but when I was drunk last week and leaning against the wall as I walked, I forgot about the door handle that rammed into my side and left a really ugly bruise.
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Re: Drinking scars
That reminds me of when I got forehead rug burn. I thought it would be fun to challenge the then Guy on the Couch to wrestle, knowing full well he restrained mental people as part of his job, while I sat on my ass in a cubicle for mine. I said fuck it though, and told people at work it was a case of drunken wrestling.Mother Goose wrote:My most recent was a slip & fall on my back deck whilst drinking heavily and peeing in the backyard. hit my cheek right below my eye. Still hurts, and for the first week left abrasions and blacked my eye. EMBARRASSING as fuck. I made up a non-drunk story for work, of course.
No scar though.
"binary: being drunk makes me amazed at life"
23:22 <@fiyah> i need a new glass
23:22 <@fiyah> this one has ... toothpaste on it
23:22 <@fiyah> i hope it's toothpaste
21:15 <@fiyah> then again
21:15 <@fiyah> we just wash our hands
21:15 <@fiyah> splash water on our faces
21:15 <@fiyah> and see what's out there
23:22 <@fiyah> i need a new glass
23:22 <@fiyah> this one has ... toothpaste on it
23:22 <@fiyah> i hope it's toothpaste
21:15 <@fiyah> then again
21:15 <@fiyah> we just wash our hands
21:15 <@fiyah> splash water on our faces
21:15 <@fiyah> and see what's out there
- John Lennon
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Re: Drunkard Injuries
After a particularly heavy session I headed to a local takeaway for some chips & kebab with a hefty dollop of garlic sauce. Whilst eating this I started to fall and in a bid to stay upright I tried to turn my forward fall into a backwards one.
I succeeded in my plan and did a complete 360 and ran at top speed head first into some shutters of a nearby store.
I lay in a mound of chips and garlic sauce whilst other revellers openly mocked me.
Felt good man!
I succeeded in my plan and did a complete 360 and ran at top speed head first into some shutters of a nearby store.
I lay in a mound of chips and garlic sauce whilst other revellers openly mocked me.
Felt good man!
Last edited by John Lennon on Tue Jun 05, 2012 9:48 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Drunkard Injuries
I feel for you. About a year ago I was leaving the bar and lost my balance on the last step and got rolling forward. I stayed on my feet across the street but finally fell just in time to land on my side on a concrete planter and broke my ribs.
I'll miss you, pallie.
- John Lennon
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Re: Drunkard Injuries
It went a little like this:
Without the skateboard...or the morbid obesity.
Without the skateboard...or the morbid obesity.
Re: Drunkard Injuries
I cant tell you how many times i watched this....its still fucking funny as hell!John Lennon wrote:It went a little like this:
Without the skateboard...or the morbid obesity.
“And in my mind, this settles the issue. I would never drink cologne, and am therefore not an alcoholic.”
― Augusten Burroughs
― Augusten Burroughs
- Mr. Viking
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Re: Drunkard Injuries
I didn't get injured but someone seems to have kicked a huge dent into the gas fire
"I spent all of my money on cars, women and booze, the rest of it I squandered" G. Best
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Re: Drunkard Injuries
standardThe Carlsberg Kid wrote:Where to start. Is this about physical injuries or emotional ones ? The latter are usually far worse and much longer lasting in my experience. But if its physical stuff then - as alluded to elsewhere.
DONEGAL.IRELAND.NIGHT.NOV 2004.
Our hero has consumed two 14% bottles of Cab Sauvingnon in about 4 hours and is blitzed. He decides to go for a drive to the beach. He takes a third bottle along on the passenger seat for good measure. It begins to rain heavily. The car aquaplanes and does a 360o into a brick wall at approx 50mph.
Our hero is knocked unconscious. He wakes up surrounded by flashing lights, people, cops, paramedics. He cant hear anything, but he can see it all. He is lifted out of the car. Stretcherd into the back of an ambulance. He cant move at all. He watches the roof of the ambulance and its greeny light on the ceiling.
25 miles later he is taken into the A&E room. He wakes up the next day. He is alive and he can move. He has a broken nose and minor facial lacerations. The worst thing is the splitting headache. He HAS to have a drink, and now. Against doctors orders he discharges himself from hospital before noon and makes straight for the nearest bar. He downs 4 Holsten Pils and feels better. Later his girlfriend leaves him. The pain of that continues for years. The physical pain is nothing.
"I spent all of my money on cars, women and booze, the rest of it I squandered" G. Best
- Mr. Viking
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Re: Drunkard Injuries
managed to fall out of my chair early this morning. Went arse first into a stack of beer bottles. Could have ended pretty badly, but I managed to get away with a few cuts to my fingers. Now I can't even find what I cut them on
"I spent all of my money on cars, women and booze, the rest of it I squandered" G. Best
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Re: Drunkard Injuries
Get really drunk then roll around on the floor, and I guarantee that you'll find those bits of broken glass, old razor blades, splinters of wood etc. It always works for me.Mr. Viking wrote:...I can't even find what I cut them on
"If I had all the money that I've spent on drink, I'd spend it on drink!"
"The trouble with internet quotes is that one can never be sure if they are genuine." - Abraham Lincoln
Kindly listen to this, please.
ドロンケン
"The trouble with internet quotes is that one can never be sure if they are genuine." - Abraham Lincoln
Kindly listen to this, please.
ドロンケン
- Mr. Viking
- Hooching Like Hemingway
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Re: Drunkard Injuries
I did that a few weeks ago before my brother came to visit. There was a horrible amount of glass and hairPalinka wrote:Get really drunk then roll around on the floor, and I guarantee that you'll find those bits of broken glass, old razor blades, splinters of wood etc. It always works for me.
"I spent all of my money on cars, women and booze, the rest of it I squandered" G. Best
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Re: Drunkard Injuries
I once came-to to find a bloodied footprint on the ceiling. To this day I have no idea how it got there. I mean, I know how I cut my feet; I got really fucked up and passed out with an ashtray on my chest, which smashed on the floor when I turned over, whilst sleeping, and then I cut my feet on the broken glass when I staggered up for a piss and another few shots of Pálinka (I was in Hungary, in those days). So the bloodied footprints on the floor and the bed are completely explainable but the one on the ceiling? And Hungarian rooms have really high ceilings. Weird.
"If I had all the money that I've spent on drink, I'd spend it on drink!"
"The trouble with internet quotes is that one can never be sure if they are genuine." - Abraham Lincoln
Kindly listen to this, please.
ドロンケン
"The trouble with internet quotes is that one can never be sure if they are genuine." - Abraham Lincoln
Kindly listen to this, please.
ドロンケン
Re: Drunkard Injuries
I once during one of my week-long findrunks bloodied up 3 different rooms of my parents house which I evidently was upkeeping. All the while I managed to stay blacked out for whole duration of event and evidently had bandaged my left arm from which I found rather deep mystery cut from. I also had cut over my eyebrow, big toe of right feet and lower back. Strange times.
- mistah willies
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Re: Drunkard Injuries
This is how I found out that I needed to learn how to fight properly. It's also why you will find me to be a friendly sort fellow here at the Mighty MDM forums. I work very hard at it.
My buddy Joey and I were at this party down on the lower east side of Fuckno, CA, and this was in the early 80's, (or, Gayties, as my wife refers to them). But in the south-eastern side of that ugly city, the pastels and plastic of the 80's did not dare intrude.
Only the classic colors were allowed to cross the border. They wore white undershirts two sizes too large for them, underneath crisp, ironed shirts of dark earth tones, buttoned only at the neck.
One must have instant access to one's hidden weapons, underneath.
Dark, creased dress pants, and above all and most important: black dress shoes that gleamed from spit polish and were as sharp as knives.
Me? Yeah, I had the parachute pants. Hell, I never owned a pair of stone-washed jeans, but that isn't saying much, over parachute pants.
Spray-painted Doc Martens, black leather jacket, and hair piled high.
Joey wore a red silk smoking jackets and his own Doc's. Got it? Good. Feels like a damned fashion mag here.
But the setting is essential. We looked like jokes to them, and they looked like a tribe to us.
Now, we had been invited to this party by Joey's brother Roman, but Roman was nowhere to be seen. So, it appeared to them that we were some party-crashers, some invaders, some pinche cavrons.
It started to get a bit warm there.
One particular fellow came over to Joey and me and said, "Where are your girls? Or are you here with each other?"
At the same time, Joey and I responded. He said, "No, they coming."
And I said, "It's just us, sir."
Well, that was kind of awkward. I mean, they all began to laugh, asking "which one is it" to each other, and then they began form a front.
Roman snuck up whispered between us, “Hey! I just got a [expletive describing an oral sexual act deleted by MDM lawyers] from a chick out back. You know, we should get the hell out of here!”
Oh, that was where he had been. Thanks a lot, man.
The one who spoke to us first came back with, “So which is it, maricon? You bitches coming? Or they standing before me right this second?”
Well, I found that I have latent rage. But I didn’t have any finesse with fighting at that time. I jumped forward and pulled my arm back, and he simply stepped to the side and jabbed the side of my jaw. I felt my teeth squeak, I felt a bit dizzy, and that was when Joey covered for me and rabbit punched the dude in the area just below the rib cage.
Roman pulled me up and said, “Let’s get the fuck outta here.”
Joey looked around as I limped out with Roman, and he said, “This how you treat guests to your home? You should be ashamed of yourselves!”
Well, that made them think, because homeboys and cholos are raised to be respectful in their youth, and Joey was, after all, still Hispanic, (just kinda punked out) and that was just enough time to get the hell out of there.
My injury was my jaw. It swelled up and my mouth didn’t close right for almost a whole week.
But my other injury was my pride. I needed to learn how to fight well. And, I needed to learn how to control my latent rage. Nothing good ever comes from it.
Strive to be cool, keep the anger at bay.
My buddy Joey and I were at this party down on the lower east side of Fuckno, CA, and this was in the early 80's, (or, Gayties, as my wife refers to them). But in the south-eastern side of that ugly city, the pastels and plastic of the 80's did not dare intrude.
Only the classic colors were allowed to cross the border. They wore white undershirts two sizes too large for them, underneath crisp, ironed shirts of dark earth tones, buttoned only at the neck.
One must have instant access to one's hidden weapons, underneath.
Dark, creased dress pants, and above all and most important: black dress shoes that gleamed from spit polish and were as sharp as knives.
Me? Yeah, I had the parachute pants. Hell, I never owned a pair of stone-washed jeans, but that isn't saying much, over parachute pants.
Spray-painted Doc Martens, black leather jacket, and hair piled high.
Joey wore a red silk smoking jackets and his own Doc's. Got it? Good. Feels like a damned fashion mag here.
But the setting is essential. We looked like jokes to them, and they looked like a tribe to us.
Now, we had been invited to this party by Joey's brother Roman, but Roman was nowhere to be seen. So, it appeared to them that we were some party-crashers, some invaders, some pinche cavrons.
It started to get a bit warm there.
One particular fellow came over to Joey and me and said, "Where are your girls? Or are you here with each other?"
At the same time, Joey and I responded. He said, "No, they coming."
And I said, "It's just us, sir."
Well, that was kind of awkward. I mean, they all began to laugh, asking "which one is it" to each other, and then they began form a front.
Roman snuck up whispered between us, “Hey! I just got a [expletive describing an oral sexual act deleted by MDM lawyers] from a chick out back. You know, we should get the hell out of here!”
Oh, that was where he had been. Thanks a lot, man.
The one who spoke to us first came back with, “So which is it, maricon? You bitches coming? Or they standing before me right this second?”
Well, I found that I have latent rage. But I didn’t have any finesse with fighting at that time. I jumped forward and pulled my arm back, and he simply stepped to the side and jabbed the side of my jaw. I felt my teeth squeak, I felt a bit dizzy, and that was when Joey covered for me and rabbit punched the dude in the area just below the rib cage.
Roman pulled me up and said, “Let’s get the fuck outta here.”
Joey looked around as I limped out with Roman, and he said, “This how you treat guests to your home? You should be ashamed of yourselves!”
Well, that made them think, because homeboys and cholos are raised to be respectful in their youth, and Joey was, after all, still Hispanic, (just kinda punked out) and that was just enough time to get the hell out of there.
My injury was my jaw. It swelled up and my mouth didn’t close right for almost a whole week.
But my other injury was my pride. I needed to learn how to fight well. And, I needed to learn how to control my latent rage. Nothing good ever comes from it.
Strive to be cool, keep the anger at bay.