THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID!J. Tequila wrote:i could go for a banana right now
SNAPCRACKLEANDPOP!
How low can you go?
Moderators: Oggar, Badfellow, Mr Boozificator, Artful Drunktective, mistah willies, NYDingbat, oettinger, Judge
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Frankennietzsche
- Juicing Like Jackie
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- Joined: Mon Mar 17, 2003 9:13 pm
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Re: How low can you go?
SNAPCRACKLEANDPOP!
“Süßen witwe Mutter-Hosen — kommst du hier mit mein knackenpfeife schnell, oder Ich zeige Ihnen mein Zuhälter Hand!”
"I am going to pistol-whip the next person who says 'shenanigans' "
"Rectum? It nearly killed him!"
"I am going to pistol-whip the next person who says 'shenanigans' "
"Rectum? It nearly killed him!"
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BBoozer
- Ten Feet Tall and Bulletproof
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- Joined: Tue Mar 03, 2009 9:14 am
- Location: In the promised land of Belgium
Re: How low can you go?
Brown bag!Tariel wrote:There is only one rule to be followed in such circumstances.Riddeford wrote:She was petite yet her face made me want to look away..look towards the horizon..if I could ever find it...so I started having a few drinks and she comes up to chat once in a while but I could tell she was waiting. I remember thinking, she's horrid Riddeford, you can't possible be thinking...and then the drunken devil inside says "Do it!"
Cover the face, fuck the base.
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herdandhokies
- Tippler
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- Location: Camarillo, CA
Re: How low can you go?
New years 2011 I blacked out, left a party, peed on an indoor potted plant, tried to go back to the party but went into the wrong apartment, nearly had the cops called on me, and was fireman carried against my will back to my apartment by my friend who was visiting.
Re: How low can you go?
Remember to punch in holes for breathing, otherwise you're just a necrophiliac!BBoozer wrote:Brown bag!Tariel wrote:There is only one rule to be followed in such circumstances.Riddeford wrote:She was petite yet her face made me want to look away..look towards the horizon..if I could ever find it...so I started having a few drinks and she comes up to chat once in a while but I could tell she was waiting. I remember thinking, she's horrid Riddeford, you can't possible be thinking...and then the drunken devil inside says "Do it!"
Cover the face, fuck the base.
To sit down with these men and deal with them as a representative of an enlightened and civilized people is to deride one's own dignity and to invite the disaster their treachery will bring upon us - Gen. Ridgeway
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Mr Boozificator
- Boozing Like Bukowski
- Posts: 4981
- Joined: Sat Dec 12, 2009 6:28 pm
Re: How low can you go?
Not that there's anything wrong with that if the dead is more than 21.Tariel wrote:Remember to punch in holes for breathing, otherwise you're just a necrophiliac!BBoozer wrote:Riddeford wrote:She was petite yet her face made me want to look away..look towards the horizon..if I could ever find it...so I started having a few drinks and she comes up to chat once in a while but I could tell she was waiting. I remember thinking, she's horrid Riddeford, you can't possible be thinking...and then the drunken devil inside says "Do it!"
Brown bag!
"I never want to go to bed if there are still beers in the fridge, but then I am always hopeful that there are beers left in there when I wake up.". Thirstydrunk.
"We all look for happiness, but without knowing where to find it: like drunkards who look for their house, knowing dimly that they have one." Voltaire
"The prince of darkness is a gentleman." Shakespeare.
"We all look for happiness, but without knowing where to find it: like drunkards who look for their house, knowing dimly that they have one." Voltaire
"The prince of darkness is a gentleman." Shakespeare.
Re: How low can you go?
Well to each his own, but I'd find doing someone who's been dead for more than 21 hours rather revolting.Mr Boozificator wrote: Not that there's anything wrong with that if the dead is more than 21.
To sit down with these men and deal with them as a representative of an enlightened and civilized people is to deride one's own dignity and to invite the disaster their treachery will bring upon us - Gen. Ridgeway
Re: How low can you go?
I'm not sure if there is a legal precedent in Anaheim regarding brown bagging either a broad or a flask of liquor.
whiskeyprick wrote:
"I'll fuck you like the Milf you wanna be"
"I'll fuck you like the Milf you wanna be"
Re: How low can you go?
It's 8:30am on the West Coast, I need a drink. Good thing the guy at the liquo store is cool. He does think C is a total lush though.
whiskeyprick wrote:
"I'll fuck you like the Milf you wanna be"
"I'll fuck you like the Milf you wanna be"
Re: How low can you go?
One drink is all it will take.
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mistah willies
- Drinking Like W.C.
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Re: How low can you go?
This whole thread was thoroughly engaging to read. I think it got derailed a bit by the "grossest story" stuff,
But overall, it feels like home to the likes of me. Brings back memories.
Who here hasn't ever urinated into a wastebasket, potted plant, or even on the bed-side table, then climbed back into bed... that's just par for the course. But the stories that show the level of moral character: the actual line one has crossed or found themselves unable to cross, well, that's the real meat of the matter here.
One of these (and there are many) lowest points for me:
1980's. Just broke up with my girl for cheating on me. She told me after we finished a second bottle of Blanc. Don't know what she was thinking. Tell me that shit straight and neat. I piled my crap in the work truck parked in the street by her mother's house (I shared the bedroom of her 17 year old daughter and I was 19) and just started bawling like a damned baby. I turned the ignition and the radio came on. Fucking "Don't Worry Be Happy" blared out as I drove away. AAAAAARGHHHHHHH!
Twisty streets, bleary eyes, couldn't take the time to turn down the radio. Yeah, I bawled and then I tried to sing along. That was pretty sad. I hate to admit that part.
I found my friend's apartment (this was way before the San Joking Cesspool, but we would ruin many apartments in that shitty town) and staggered up the stairs to his door and pounded on it.
Of course, he wasn't there. He was working. I threw my shoulder against the door and the weak wood splintered and I was in. I went into his kitchen. Dirty pans and dishes on every surface except the walls. Guess he washed what he needed before he used it.
Nothing in the fridge, but I found his bottle of vodka in the cupboard by the stove. Behind the cayenne pepper. I began my love affair with vodka then and there.
After a while, his own girlfriend came through the open door and hollered, "Who's here! I'm calling the cops!" Then she ran back down the outside stairs.
I staggered out and leaned over the landing and shouted down to her, "Hey! Sherry! It's me. Come on up."
She stopped and looked relieved. She said, "I thought it was robbers!" She turned and came back up.
My friend, that is when I found out something about my best friend's girlfriend.
She didn't deserve my best friend. I guess she was a slut. I guess that I didn't deserve my best friend either. Because I fucked her.
It was after telling her all of my sad day, and she put a hand on mine after we did a few more rounds.
Somehow, it feels better saying this to an anonymous crew of fellow drunkards. And also, kinda shitty.
He never found out.
Cheers
Rip Rufus wrote:That reminds me of what may be my grossest story. God I hope my stalker ex reads this one! If you have sensitive stomachs, read on, because it's funny anyway...gr1m4ce3o8 wrote:atm was always one that i could never figure out. it just seems that the sink would me a more logical place for your junk after a good ass workout, than your partners mouth.
...And I obviously was not aware enough to alert her to the fact that I never cleaned my junk off after having up her backside. So this was, to my knowledge, the first ever Delayed ATM, where there was 4 hours for my junk to marinate before she inhaled it.
But overall, it feels like home to the likes of me. Brings back memories.
Who here hasn't ever urinated into a wastebasket, potted plant, or even on the bed-side table, then climbed back into bed... that's just par for the course. But the stories that show the level of moral character: the actual line one has crossed or found themselves unable to cross, well, that's the real meat of the matter here.
One of these (and there are many) lowest points for me:
1980's. Just broke up with my girl for cheating on me. She told me after we finished a second bottle of Blanc. Don't know what she was thinking. Tell me that shit straight and neat. I piled my crap in the work truck parked in the street by her mother's house (I shared the bedroom of her 17 year old daughter and I was 19) and just started bawling like a damned baby. I turned the ignition and the radio came on. Fucking "Don't Worry Be Happy" blared out as I drove away. AAAAAARGHHHHHHH!
Twisty streets, bleary eyes, couldn't take the time to turn down the radio. Yeah, I bawled and then I tried to sing along. That was pretty sad. I hate to admit that part.
I found my friend's apartment (this was way before the San Joking Cesspool, but we would ruin many apartments in that shitty town) and staggered up the stairs to his door and pounded on it.
Of course, he wasn't there. He was working. I threw my shoulder against the door and the weak wood splintered and I was in. I went into his kitchen. Dirty pans and dishes on every surface except the walls. Guess he washed what he needed before he used it.
Nothing in the fridge, but I found his bottle of vodka in the cupboard by the stove. Behind the cayenne pepper. I began my love affair with vodka then and there.
After a while, his own girlfriend came through the open door and hollered, "Who's here! I'm calling the cops!" Then she ran back down the outside stairs.
I staggered out and leaned over the landing and shouted down to her, "Hey! Sherry! It's me. Come on up."
She stopped and looked relieved. She said, "I thought it was robbers!" She turned and came back up.
My friend, that is when I found out something about my best friend's girlfriend.
She didn't deserve my best friend. I guess she was a slut. I guess that I didn't deserve my best friend either. Because I fucked her.
It was after telling her all of my sad day, and she put a hand on mine after we did a few more rounds.
Somehow, it feels better saying this to an anonymous crew of fellow drunkards. And also, kinda shitty.
He never found out.
Cheers
Can we drink now? ---peetie44
At rock bottom, there is no down. ---The Oett
^ ^ ^ Yes his entire cutlery set and all utensils are made from assorted broken bottles.--- The Artful Detective
Just remember Hugh: a good cocktail in a shitty glass is better that a shitty cocktail in a pretty glass.---The Badfellow
I'll buy the first round if you promise to stop being a cunt. --- Dear Booze
At rock bottom, there is no down. ---The Oett
^ ^ ^ Yes his entire cutlery set and all utensils are made from assorted broken bottles.--- The Artful Detective
Just remember Hugh: a good cocktail in a shitty glass is better that a shitty cocktail in a pretty glass.---The Badfellow
I'll buy the first round if you promise to stop being a cunt. --- Dear Booze
How low can yuo go?
have you stooped to this
"If it feels good do it again, if it still feels good you're doing it right"
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Badfellow
- Juicing Like Jackie
- Posts: 10733
- Joined: Tue Oct 04, 2005 3:05 pm
- Location: Republic of Drunkardia
Re: How low can yuo go?
Good question, Bitch.
No, not personally.
However, I was aware of a mystical bum cult who drank and swore by Listerine. Not because they liked the taste, but because it was much easier to shoplift than a bottle of vodka. This was often mixed 50/50 with Robitussin DM and was called god by a number of manic street preachers. They never coughed and their breath was always very fresh.
No, not personally.
However, I was aware of a mystical bum cult who drank and swore by Listerine. Not because they liked the taste, but because it was much easier to shoplift than a bottle of vodka. This was often mixed 50/50 with Robitussin DM and was called god by a number of manic street preachers. They never coughed and their breath was always very fresh.
ພາສາລາວNONE GENUINE WITHOUT MY SIGNATUREພາສາລາວ
Re: How low can yuo go?
once a street dude todl me he sqeezes sterno thruogh his sock and drank it for a buzz
lol i geuss its true,
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sterno
lol i geuss its true,
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sterno
"If it feels good do it again, if it still feels good you're doing it right"
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ThirstyDrunk
- Juicing Like Jackie
- Posts: 12702
- Joined: Sun Oct 08, 2006 10:35 pm
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Re: How low can yuo go?
Here ya go - this dude already thought of it all - mouthwash, glue paint cough syrup. Dimetap daiquiri , Robitussin and redbull...
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OOCdIY_HKM4
Me? Nah, I always find a way to come up with a few bucks for cheap liquor.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OOCdIY_HKM4
Me? Nah, I always find a way to come up with a few bucks for cheap liquor.
Like a desperate thirst in a raging drought
Re: How low can yuo go?
he misssed one.........https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/JenkemThirstyDrunk wrote:Here ya go - this dude already thought of it all - mouthwash, glue paint cough syrup. Dimetap daiquiri , Robitussin and redbull...
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OOCdIY_HKM4
Me? Nah, I always find a way to come up with a few bucks for cheap liquor.
"If it feels good do it again, if it still feels good you're doing it right"