Dr. Frasier Crane column - I'm listening!

[Badfellow]

Wouldn't know. I use poison.

[ThirstyDrunk]

Does that affect the taste?

[Badfellow]

Some people say the flavor is a little gamey.

[mistah willies]

Ape-ologies, young men. I'd meant to tell him that it was a little dicey. It'll roll off the tongue and then it's either craps or snake eyes.

What's your poison tonight?

I'll take a shot of Miss Dr. Cranium. It awakens the never ending nerve endings.

[ThirstyDrunk]

sanity now it' s beyond me

[mistah willies]

These two summina bastidges know how to DRINK!

I'm so proud of Patchez and Bubblez that I might have to shed a drop of dihydrogen-monoxide into this Glencairn glass half-full of lovely amber liquids.

Or, is it ember?

Chug well, and top shelf when you can get it.

Yessah

[Artful Drunktective]

[ThirstyDrunk]

inf the masterior doeth plantsty cloth bbbbbbbbrut genitally fresh bucketed mus glasses to empty the thunder mug ledd us know if youre incomplsetr or finfiheeeeed i think im'm done malaise is here don't worry you all try toooo hard and still suckk relax shiteaters

[oettinger]

inf the masterior doeth plantsty cloth bbbbbbbbrut genitally fresh bucketed mus glasses to empty the thunder mug ledd us know if youre incomplsetr or finfiheeeeed i think im'm done malaise is here don't worry you all try toooo hard and still suckk relax shiteaters

How humbling, finally someone said it

[Dear Booze]

Hi Doc, my pal's name is Foot Foot, he always likes to roam. My pal's name is Foot Foot, I never find him home.
I go to his house, knock at his door, people come out and say "Foot Foot don't live here no more." My pal Foot Foot always likes to roam. My pal Foot Foot, now he has no home. Where will Foot Foot go? What will Foot Foot do?
Oh, Foot Foot, I wish I could find you. I've looked here, I've looked there, I've looked everywhere. Oh, Foot Foot, Why can't I find you? Foot Foot, where can you be? Foot Foot, why won't you answer me? Foot Foot, Oh Foot Foot. Wherever you are, I want you to come home with me. I don't have time to roam. I have things to do. I have to go home. Oh, Foot Foot, where are you? If Foot Foot didn't like to roam so well, he would still have a place to dwell. Foot Foot, please answer me. I know where you are. You're behind that tree. Foot Foot, please come to me. Foot Foot, now that you're here. Won't you come home? Foot Foot, promise me this: That you will never again roam.

[Badfellow]

Somebody's foot-foot stepped in some doo-doo.

For fuck's sake, doesn't ANYONE have some seriously pressing psychological baggage they need to unload on the carousel?

inf the masterior doeth plantsty cloth bbbbbbbbrut genitally fresh bucketed mus glasses to empty the thunder mug ledd us know if youre incomplsetr or finfiheeeeed i think im'm done malaise is here don't worry you all try toooo hard and still suckk relax shiteaters

This is quite profound, caller. And more than a touch disturbing in it's discombobulated divaishness. Indeed, don't us shiteaters all try a little too hard at times, resulting in a monumental waste of sanity and effort when we could have simply said fuck it and gone with the flow?

That being said, I would first address certain waste management needs as one possible root of the issue, and to that end there is nothing finer than the old world crapsmanship and stylish handling of the Ferguson OmniDump 5 g.p.f. pre-ban toilet. Now available with heated seats, MedAlert and Dolby surround sound.

Yes, good caller, you would do well to treat your thunder mug a throne. Get yourself a crown or a pimp fedora. Perhaps consider drinking xinian blood mead from vessels that have been fashioned from the skulls of your vanquished enemies as part of your therapy.

And yes, we would all do well to take your advice. People of the world relax. Or, like my father used to say before administering the holiday beatings: "Life is a buffet of shit sandwiches, son, and it's all you can eat."

[Patchez]

"Life is a buffet of shit sandwiches, son, and it's all you can eat."

But the more bread ya got the less shit ya gotta eat.

[Dear Booze]

For fuck's sake, doesn't ANYONE have some seriously pressing psychological baggage they need to unload on the carousel?

Wait. did someone say Carousel?

oh fuck!

Get away from that thing. Gene's been drankin.

https://youtu.be/l8neJSUMZUE

[Badfellow]

This is worse than my adopted Mongolian nazi cousin trying to play March of the Gladiators on the nose flute.

[Badfellow]

"Life is a buffet of shit sandwiches, son, and it's all you can eat."

But the more bread ya got the less shit ya gotta eat.

The rich man eats shit sammiches like the rest of us. It'll eat you too.