There should be a drunkard card
showing you are a citizen of the world.
garnering yoiu special priveledges
and it should be made of a spill proof non paper polymer so as not to be misconstrued as a puke scoop or ass wipe or somthing
Screeching frequencies of pulsing infinities
Your drunkard card
Moderators: Oggar, Badfellow, Mr Boozificator, Artful Drunktective, mistah willies, NYDingbat, oettinger, Judge
- ThirstyDrunk
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Your drunkard card
Like a desperate thirst in a raging drought
- ThirstyDrunk
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Re: Your drunkard card
A MOD has already stolen this idea I bet.
Andy Capp hot fries, you;'re my only friend.
I be t noone here remembers Andy Capp that fucker was a drunk if his nose was shaded in he was fuckin plowed
I loved this cartoon even as a child one of my favorites, i can't draw it out for you but
Andys is stumblin home, nose all shaded in red, he trips and falls flat on his face.
Gets up, brushes himself off, and says
"Dadburn flippin sidewalk crack"
Andy Capp hot fries, you;'re my only friend.
I be t noone here remembers Andy Capp that fucker was a drunk if his nose was shaded in he was fuckin plowed
I loved this cartoon even as a child one of my favorites, i can't draw it out for you but
Andys is stumblin home, nose all shaded in red, he trips and falls flat on his face.
Gets up, brushes himself off, and says
"Dadburn flippin sidewalk crack"
Like a desperate thirst in a raging drought
- Badfellow
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Re: Your drunkard card
You're probably right. And I ate all your Andy Capp's Hot Fries too. Got anymore beer?
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- Badfellow
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Re: Your drunkard card
Introducing the
DRUNCARD
A new way for professional drinkers to earn points and special rewards while getting blackout, one-eyed squintingly shithoused. Show your DRUNCARD around town at various dives and brothels for discounts on all sorts of shit.
Sign up now and start earning Druncard tipsy points toward rewards just by pouring liquor into your piehöle. It's that easy!
*500 Druncard points: 1 warm 40oz. of the Schlitz Malt Liquor Bull.
*1000 Druncard points: Get chained to a radiator with the key in the bottom of a bottle of Everclear.
*5000 Druncard points: John Madden will personally come to your home and use your bath towels to wipe his ass.
*10,000 Druncard points: Cannonball Run and Cannonball Run II on RCA Laserdisc, assorted drugs and a 16 gallon keg of Natural Ice for your Burt Reynolds mustache party.
50,000 Druncard points: All expenses payed trip to the Berlin Enema Clinic for vodka colonic tonics, plus a track jacket that says "ASSMAN #1".
100,000 Druncard points: Free replacement with mimetic poly alloy liver and solid titanium testicles.
1,000,000 Druncard points: Your own dive bar complete with booze, hookers, bums, drug dealers and a sawed off shotgun under the counter.
DRUNCARD
A new way for professional drinkers to earn points and special rewards while getting blackout, one-eyed squintingly shithoused. Show your DRUNCARD around town at various dives and brothels for discounts on all sorts of shit.
Sign up now and start earning Druncard tipsy points toward rewards just by pouring liquor into your piehöle. It's that easy!
*500 Druncard points: 1 warm 40oz. of the Schlitz Malt Liquor Bull.
*1000 Druncard points: Get chained to a radiator with the key in the bottom of a bottle of Everclear.
*5000 Druncard points: John Madden will personally come to your home and use your bath towels to wipe his ass.
*10,000 Druncard points: Cannonball Run and Cannonball Run II on RCA Laserdisc, assorted drugs and a 16 gallon keg of Natural Ice for your Burt Reynolds mustache party.
50,000 Druncard points: All expenses payed trip to the Berlin Enema Clinic for vodka colonic tonics, plus a track jacket that says "ASSMAN #1".
100,000 Druncard points: Free replacement with mimetic poly alloy liver and solid titanium testicles.
1,000,000 Druncard points: Your own dive bar complete with booze, hookers, bums, drug dealers and a sawed off shotgun under the counter.
ພາສາລາວNONE GENUINE WITHOUT MY SIGNATUREພາສາລາວ
Re: Your drunkard card
Can we have Telly Savalas do the commercials like Players Club?
You'll love it, baby.
You'll love it, baby.
Now you're ready for some anti-dry-otics!-BeerMakesMeSmarter
If worms had daggers, birds wouldn't fuck with them-Todd Snider
Blackout and be extraordinary-Absinthe of Malice
If worms had daggers, birds wouldn't fuck with them-Todd Snider
Blackout and be extraordinary-Absinthe of Malice
- Badfellow
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Re: Your drunkard card
Well, he died in 1994. But sure, let's exhume the body and shoot a commercial.
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Re: Your drunkard card
I'm down. Grave robbin' baby.
Now you're ready for some anti-dry-otics!-BeerMakesMeSmarter
If worms had daggers, birds wouldn't fuck with them-Todd Snider
Blackout and be extraordinary-Absinthe of Malice
If worms had daggers, birds wouldn't fuck with them-Todd Snider
Blackout and be extraordinary-Absinthe of Malice
- ThirstyDrunk
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Re: Your drunkard card
While you're at it get Karl Malden as well, he can pitch the drunCard travelers checks.
"What will you do?
What WILL you do?"
"What will you do?
What WILL you do?"
Like a desperate thirst in a raging drought
Re: Your drunkard card
This. So much this.ThurstonDrunk wrote: ↑Sat Feb 03, 2018 8:18 pmWhile you're at it get Karl Malden as well, he can pitch the drunCard travelers checks.
"What will you do?
What WILL you do?"
Now you're ready for some anti-dry-otics!-BeerMakesMeSmarter
If worms had daggers, birds wouldn't fuck with them-Todd Snider
Blackout and be extraordinary-Absinthe of Malice
If worms had daggers, birds wouldn't fuck with them-Todd Snider
Blackout and be extraordinary-Absinthe of Malice
- ThirstyDrunk
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Re: Your drunkard card
Karl looked like a drinker, I mean he had the nose for it anyway.
So, dig em up, get Telly and Karl all slobbering dead drunk, and get this shit into production.
"dOn't lEave HoMe wathOut it, BLECH"
Also I've heard that your hair keeps growing after you die so somebody may have to shave the afro off of Telly to make him somewhat recognisable.
So, dig em up, get Telly and Karl all slobbering dead drunk, and get this shit into production.
"dOn't lEave HoMe wathOut it, BLECH"
Also I've heard that your hair keeps growing after you die so somebody may have to shave the afro off of Telly to make him somewhat recognisable.
Like a desperate thirst in a raging drought
Re: Your drunkard card
Funny, my hair doesn`t grow and I`m alive. It turns gray and greasy though.ThurstonDrunk wrote: ↑Sat Feb 03, 2018 8:33 pmKarl looked like a drinker, I mean he had the nose for it anyway.
So, dig em up, get Telly and Karl all slobbering dead drunk, and get this shit into production.
"dOn't lEave HoMe wathOut it, BLECH"
Also I've heard that your hair keeps growing after you die so somebody may have to shave the afro off of Telly to make him somewhat recognisable.
Druncard blanche you could say
Drink!
- Badfellow
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Re: Your drunkard card
Hope to hell we're not talking about the "downstairs" afro here.ThurstonDrunk wrote: ↑Sat Feb 03, 2018 8:33 pmAlso I've heard that your hair keeps growing after you die so somebody may have to shave the afro off of Telly to make him somewhat recognisable.
If Karl and Telly got in a fight, I think Karl would rip him a new one and shove that lollipop where the herring don't swim. IMFHO.
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- Artful Drunktective
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- Badfellow
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Re: Your drunkard card
Dear Booze's brain IS a dive bar. If you listen closely, you can hear the depravity.
ພາສາລາວNONE GENUINE WITHOUT MY SIGNATUREພາສາລາວ
- ThirstyDrunk
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Re: Your drunkard card
I ge t free sandwiches and chips and drinks from Speedway for using my card.
Even money off gas.
Imagine if you had a card , you redeem your points, "OK Thurston, by your card we can see that you have drank over 3.75 L of bourbon this month so tonight you drink liquor half price, beers are free."
Even money off gas.
Imagine if you had a card , you redeem your points, "OK Thurston, by your card we can see that you have drank over 3.75 L of bourbon this month so tonight you drink liquor half price, beers are free."
Like a desperate thirst in a raging drought