Here at The Hole it's still July Fourth Weekend! And you are an American, right? So enjoy your freedom by drinking free.
That's right, assholes. You get to drink for free!* Come on into any of our locations**, show your ID, and all drinks are as free as you are.
* Rental of glass required. Rental rates vary by choice of contents. Management reserves the right to alter prices whenever the fuck we want. Glassware supply is limited. No outside glassware, plasticware, stoneware, or any other ware allowed. This includes cupping your hands or using any other part of your body to transport booze from the bottle to your mouth. If you want to ingest booze anally, we might consider an exception because that might be funny to watch.
**Offer not valid at Das Holehause, The Hole Eh, or The Fithy, Sandy Fucking Pit.
Where are you?
and can I take a rain check?
Um, yeah. This place doesn’t exactly issue rain checks. There more like piss checks with a few mystery stains thrown in.
Recent Yelp Deutschland review:
Dies ist die beste Bar in Deutschland. Das Management kümmert sich nicht darum, was wir hier tun. Wir können sogar auf den Boden scheißen. Ich kann den Stinkenden Pinkie-Cocktail nur empfehlen. Verpiss dich, wenn du mir nicht glaubst. Du bist ein Mutterficker. Geh und bring dich um. Halt die Klappe, halt die Klappe, halt die Klappe.
Recent Yelp Canada review:
Sorry, this is the best bar in all of Canada, eh. Sorry, management does not car what we do in here. We can even shit, sorry, on the floor. I highly recommend the stinky pinkie cocktail, eh. Sorry, but you can just go fuck off right now if you don't believe me. Sorry, but you are real motherfucker if you are calling me a liar right now. You can just go ahead and kill yourself if that's the deal, eh. If it is, I'll go ahead and tell you two or tree times, shut up, shut up, shut the fuck up. Sorry, but that's just how I feel, eh.
Dieser Laden ist ja der letzte Dreck! Es stinkt nach Pisse und toten Tieren.
Mein Bierdurchfall riecht besser als dieser scheiß drecks Puff.
Ich könnte kotzen, ich hätte lieber AIDS als nochmal hier zu saufen.
Hey listen drunkards, this is not the 'Shit talkers bar and grill'. This is 'The Hole' where people got stuck and need to get out. Otherwise this is nothing but another circle in Hell.
Found myself in the Matrix and took the red pill. Now I want the blue pill and my bottle and leave me alone.
Hey listen drunkards, this is not the 'Shit talkers bar and grill'. This is 'The Hole' where people got stuck and need to get out. Otherwise this is nothing but another circle in Hell.
Come on down and pay respect to all veterans who have proudly served our country. The owners and staff make it possible to honor these brave and selfless men and women by offering affordable drinks to assure that you will get cripplingly drunk.
Veterans of the Army, Navy, Air Force, Marines and Coast Guard will be recognized by being over served and over charged.
Veteran public works employees, veterans of love, and veterans of the psychic wars will also be over served, over charged, and propositioned by ugly amateur prostitutes.
Veteran police officers, vegetarians, and veterinarians will be kicked in the balls.
Come on down and pay respect to all veterans who have proudly served our country. The owners and staff make it possible to honor these brave and selfless men and women by offering affordable drinks to assure that you will get cripplingly drunk.
Veterans of the Army, Navy, Air Force, Marines and Coast Guard will be recognized by being over served and over charged.
Veteran public works employees, veterans of love, and veterans of the psychic wars will also be over served, over charged, and propositioned by ugly amateur prostitutes.
Veteran police officers, vegetarians, and veterinarians will be kicked in the balls.
What frightens me most are the ugly amateur prostitutes. Yikes!
Found myself in the Matrix and took the red pill. Now I want the blue pill and my bottle and leave me alone.
Here at The Hole, The best bar on the planet*, we like to keep it classy. We're not talking "stick your pinky finger out when jacking off-classy." We're talking about charcuterie board classy. Yep, we're having a charcuterie-style Thanksgiving pot luck.
For those unfamiliar with charcuterie, don't worry, it won't burn when you piss the next day and you won't need a penicillin shot. It's a fancy feast where everyone grazes over an exciting selection of finger foods, like little cheese squares, almonds, and dried fruit. No plates or forks are needed. Shit Finger Shelly's boyfriend, Limpy Dick Deevers has generously donated a large piece of plywood and two sawhorses as the foundation of our feast. Tall Paul and Lefty will bring some velveeta and saltines, Big Sue is bringing some chopped up apples, and that one guy with the lazy eye is bringing spaghetti. If we play our cards right he may pour out a jar of tomato sauce on the board too. Fast Freddy says he'll bring oatmeal.
So come on down and join the fun. And let us know what you want to bring.
Remember, when you're out of money, you're out of The Hole.
*voted best bar on the planet 12 years in a row by two of our patrons
Last edited by Dear Booze on Thu Nov 18, 2021 6:25 pm, edited 1 time in total.